Relationships are not static. As we go through life, we change and our relationships change too. Staying in love can feel so hard. My goal is to help you open up to one another, to begin a new conversation where you feel safe and secure with each other.
Many couples will experience relationship problems at some point. I see couples at all different stages of their relationships, including some who just don’t know what a good couple relationship looks like as it has not been in their life experience so far. It may be about a breakdown of trust, sexual intimacy, parenting, growing older, infidelity or a difficult experience.
Do you shut down? Do you shout loud to be heard? Does it feel like whatever you do you can’t connect? Leaving you powerless or never feeling good enough? Perhaps you find yourself wondering if you are just not good for each other? Working within the framework of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples, I understand the way we react to the person we love when the relationship is distressed as a coping mechanism to stop us from being hurt, rejected or even abandoned.
Together we will work out the part you each play to keep this negative cycle going which leaves you unable to turn to each other. As you recognise your own fears and needs in the relationship this enables you to choose a different conversation where you feel closer by being more accessible, responsive and engaged with your partner.
If you decide to work with me sessions are 60 minutes. After the initial session together, if you agree, I will ask you to come to one individual session each and then return to coming together. As with individual counselling I will check in with you regularly to see how you feel our sessions are benefitting you both.
Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT) was developed by Dr Sue Johnson in Canada during the 1980’s. Her book called ‘Hold Me Tight’ is one I often lend or recommend to clients at the start of coming to see me. The ICEEFT website can give you more details or do please give me a call to all about how I can help.